Friday, February 26, 2010

No More Winter Tours

Dear United States of America,
This is an official announcement from Where Astronauts Go To Hide! Since snow has dampened our tour thus far, we're gonna say "eff it!" Though Boston and New York's shows were fine, Philadelphia's show was definitely affected by the excessive snow on the East Coast. Little did we know that we would not escape Snow-pocalypse today...

We left Philadelphia this morning for Columbus - Our GPS read that it was about an eight hour drive. It wasn't snowing; it was quite clear. We hit a detour while on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, redirecting us southbound on Highway 81, rather than our trusty pathway of Highway 76. While the TomTom freaked out and continued to try to get us back to 76, we tried to make out a crummy little flyer the toll-booth-lady gave us with directions to get back to 76 westbound.

We turned off the TomTom, looked at a map, and re-wrote our path. Highway 81 to Highway 68 Westbound.

68 took us through a beautiful Northwestern Maryland, as we climbed the mountainous terrain. Upon noticing signs announcing the 5-7% grades downhill, the weather got dramatically worse, immediately (upon discussion and research, we've likened it to the Rain Shadow Effect.

Though it was scary and the snowdrifts had our visibility down to absolute zero at times, we thought we could still make it to the show in Columbus, as we were cruising along at 55MPH and the roads were somewhat clear. Chaos ensued. The sun hid behind the clouds and the wind gusts got really violent. Then traffic came to a halt. In the photo below, notice that we are moving at a very tortoise-esque ONE MILE PER HOUR on a highway with a 70MPH speed limit.






Technology played a key role in our salvation today. Though all of our phone-calls and text messages failed us (evidently we don't know anyone in West Virginia, nor do we know anyone with floor-space in Pittsburgh). We pulled off in Morgantown, WV to find a cafe with WiFi, and found a lonely little bookstore in a vast suburban nothingness. We meandered to Priceline's website (touring band's best friend) and tried out the Morgantown area. We're cheap - and they wouldn't accept any of our "Name Your Own Price" offers. For $40, we found the Crown Plaza Pittsburgh International, and we ran with it. After another two and a half hours through the snowy (and dark by now) West Virginia and Pennsylvania landscape, and a lot of hand gestures and out-loud cursing from myself, we made it to our hotel. It's from the bar at said hotel amongst townies I update you.

Our 7.5 hour drive from Philly to Columbus turned into a 9.5 hour hell-trip that landed us in Pittsburgh, a mere 300 mile trip. These images compare the itineraries:

Before:


After:


So, to conclude, we won't tour the northern United States between the months of October and April ever again. Unless we can teleport. Southern California to Miami? We can talk.

Here are a couple more images, just so you can feel our pain a little more.

Enjoy your homes with heat tonight, because I'm willing to bet some folks out East are without it.


1 comment:

  1. Upon reading your tale of tour-travel mayhem, I am reminded of "Almost Famous." You know, when their plane catches some bad weather, they think they're about to die, and then name their next tour the, "No More Planes Tour."

    Anyways, hope y'all didn't make any regretful last-minute confessions to each other ;) and that ya make it to Chi and MPLS safely.

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